Leaning in leads to love.
Having a family is a big deal as you go from two to three, four or more. During pregnancy life is all about you – your health and your wellbeing to bring baby into the world safely but then the baby is here. And as you now know, boy do they take up time.
So when do we get the time to reconnect with our most loved – our partners?
Everyone says “oh go to dinner together, date nights, activities without the child” but what about everyday connections?
I call these small lean ins.
Children are on loan to enjoy, shape and let off into the world as independent people; your husband/wife/significant other is forever
In an American study of over 130 couples, the ones who created and concentrated on positive, everyday moments towards each other had strong relationships, which survived conflicts.
Tickling helps! Ok so maybe not that exactly however humour and playfulness created better bonds and reconnected the couples also.
But when you’re tired being a parent, worker, running a household how do you make that first awkward move?
Start a conversation; it’s free to listen.
When you see your significant other ask a question (see free takeaway)
Share a moment – parenting can be stupid at times, share a funny moment then ask “so tell me about your day to help me feel normal” (cue smiling)
Other than the research stats, what’s the little side benefit?
- Reconnecting reminds you why you got together in the first place (and the decision for baby)
- Reconnecting secures your support system – you lean into me, I’ll lean into you
- Reconnecting, even doing the ordinary, mundane moments but together creates an emotional connection
- Reconnecting builds your friendship together
- Reconnecting creates kindness and respect – all healthy marriage/relationship bases
Download this worksheet to give you some ideas of leaning in questions: Leaning In Worksheet – Questions
If you need a little help wondering what it feels like to be heard watch this funny clip: It’s not about the nail.