Do you ever wonder why some mums look like they glide into this parenting gig? Raising their child is central to who they are, they are passionate about parenting and see it as their destiny.
Then there are other mums whose central aim is their child’s wellbeing. These parents are the ones that prioritise their children, sacrifice their own pleasures and spend all their money, time and attention on their kids. . . ALL the time.
Now both of these types do have elements of each other. And I’m sure we all have bits of both too in the way we parent our kids.
However a study has shown that done well, these two approaches to parenting report more happiness, satisfaction and confidence.
And it can be learned! How?
1. It starts with our thoughts.
Just like we all get told to write in our daily gratitude journal (not quite mastered that yet!), reflecting on times where we’ve provided care to our child gives our emotional wellbeing a little natural high.
2. Stop, question, do.
Taking action also reported in greater authenticity and good bonds with our child when confronted with a decision or issue. The steps are to stop, question if you’re focusing on the child’s needs and respond.
Does it really matter?
Well these studies and action do result in aiming to satisfy your kid’s needs. However while juggling a screaming, hungry toddler and barking dog plus stirring dinner your ability to stop, question, do might be a little off centre.
I feel the approach does have benefits (studies have proven this) but focusing on your child’s strengths and marrying them with your own is a win-win situation too.
Example… If you tend to fit in the parent-aim-wellbeing box and you identify your strength is a love of learning and your child’s is problem solving, then spending a focused amount of time and attention on your child teaching them something you love results in happy-happy for both you and your little one.
Not sure what your strengths are? Take leading Positive Psychology’s master, Martin Seligman’s FREE VIA test HERE.