Feeling lost during motherhood?

Do you feel like the whole world has forgotten who YOU are?​

I often wonder why we don’t celebrate (with a card no doubt) the birth of a mother as well as the birth of a child.  We of course delight in new life however, there is this incredible woman (that is now named mum) that has gone through a cocktail of physical and emotional responses. 

Often after birth, known widely as the ‘baby blues’, we experience intense sadness, relief, guilt, panic and numbness. Strangely this is the same experience as grief – our response to loss.

Your loss of who YOU are can be very real and is recognised as a type of grief.

And that’s OK.  These feelings are normal.

The thing about loss is it’s unique to you.  

How YOU process your thoughts, feelings, behaviours and reactions is your journey.

It’s on your timeline – not anyone else’s.

Grieving can be lonely.

There are ways to overcome this loss...

R E S I L I E N C E - The ability to cope when life throws us

Review the situation through different eyes >  We can separate our thoughts about our situation and what is actually happening to us.  Changing our attitude towards our situation helps enormously but how?  

Imagine yourself as a photographer looking through the lens of a camera.  You can zoom in close and see a person alone however, if you zoom out you’ll often see that person holding a baby that loves them, a partner and/or family, friend and even a nurse that is there to support them.

Look at those muscles of yours > Take stock of your strengths noted usually as the things you rock at and that come easily to you.  Being organised, kindness, compassion, positive, determined.  Having awareness of your strengths gives you motivation and a better sense of direction.

Progression not perfection > being resilient is noting your progress and not comparing to others. Looking at your situation and new role as a challenge rather than a hurdle. Every small step counts so celebrate that.

Honour yourself > as in loss of a loved one you honour their time here by funerals, remembrance days and rituals. Be kind to yourself and have patience.  Your body and mind have been through a huge personal journey and you need to acknowledge this and give yourself time out to heal.

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